Devastation the Almighty
Ninja Wizard
It is here, finally, at last. At the end of this post, the truth about just who Nefarious is will be revealed, but first, thou must read the narrative of how I came to this discovery!
It all began after the last hack. Not the one we just recovered from, the one before, when every one was all "OMG dude WTF happened". That's when Nefarious truly appeared on the scene as his current self; a self-described retarded teenager with abusive parents and an unhealthy attraction to ghetto women and men.
However, I thought to myself, "self, this account seems familiar. I seem to remember a Nefarious who used to post and actually came off as quasi-intelligent." Surely this must be an outcome of the hack, i.e.: An account no longer in use becoming a vehicle for a rage-filled troll.
However, there was something else. Neffy seemed to know some things about certain members that he shouldn't know unless he had acces to premium, either here or on EBWF, like the time he mentioned chalupa's -----------, or Stu Pidasole's -----------, or my massive penis with which I have both the ability to procreate and strangle horses.
So that got me thinking, "surely, this account has been hacked by somebody pretending to be something he's not, which means he's either a genius, or just weird".
I ruled out the "genius" theory when he couldn't even stick to his own schtick (say that five times fast).
So then I went through a mental list of weirdos who could be using this account to troll the forum, and by connection, the entire world.
At first, like many of you, I thought of Underbelly, but he was recently arrested for cocaine possession and they don't have internet in Australia. Then I thought it could be The Truth, but I had to rule that out because, as you all may remember, Truth renounced all technology when he ran off with an unshaved Amish woman.
On and on this went, me going through a list of troublesome members we used to have, until I ran out of options. It was at this point that I started looking at the members who are still active here.
My first suspect in this category was Chalupa, because bad knees and wifi give him lots of time, but he's too bald.
I then looked at BigMatt, but Neffy has claimed to not own any shovels.
I then looked at Kevinsmith, but I couldn't stay there too long because visiting hours were over.
And then it dawned on me, I need to look where I haven't looked before!
So I went to a couple porn sites and then bought a couple movies on Amazon, but there were no answers to be found there.
I was growing increasingly frustrated, so much so that I logged in here and was going to start a thread, ranting about stuff that no one cares about and weth turrbel spalling to boot.
And then I figured it out. It was almost the perfect crime, but even I couldn't hide from myself.
So, in conclusion...
I AM NEFARIOUS!
Discuss.
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