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Wtf is this shit?

This isn't facebook

I feel like if I say yes, then you'll actually rent a car or book plane tickets, and then I'll not want to be outdone and i'll make the resort reservations, and you'll not want to look like you were bluffing so you'll get a Brazilian wax, and I'll cut those last 5 pounds that I've been meaning to, and then we keep one-upping each other with this until I end up deep inside you in a Dominican resort and we both die of poisoning.

But at least we died happy.

let's go. let's leave everything behind us and just go.

well alright then keep your secrets